MUST READ INFO!!!
Now listen up… this is important.
A few things need to happen before we can get your pathetic little squid brain into a group with a bunch of other pathetic little squid brains.
But don’t worry, once you get accepted into the program, we’re going to start turning you into a ruthless money making war machine.
Your mind is going to be transformed into a lethal weapon of destruction ready to destroy anything that’s dumb enough to stand in your way.
Like any world-class (and good-looking) sniper…
You’ll see the mission…
Be able to find your targets…
Know how to line up the scope…
Exhale slowly…
Squeeze the trigger…
And watch your targets get absolutely f***ing destroyed!!!
Ooraaaah!!!
It’s really that simple.
But first…
You need to be water-boarded and interrogated.
Just kidding…
No water-boarding…
Not yet anyways.
But we do need to have a little chat…
Just to make sure that you’re a good fit for the program.
We can’t just let a bunch of pansy ass snowflakes join our special forces.
That would be ridiculous.
Soft little pussies don’t make good commandos.
You can be a victor, or you can be a victim…
But you can’t be both.
Victims don’t usually survive in warfare.
They pretty much just get murdered.
Usually by the people who are sick of their whining.
But if you refuse to be a victim…
And you actually want to win…
You have definitely come to the right place.
Because commandos win…
That’s just who we are and what we do.
But on that note…
There’s one other thing that we do not and will not tolerate in this program…
Because the only thing worse than a pansy ass snowflake pussy victim…
IS A DICK.
Dicks will not be tolerated and will be dealt with immediately.
So consider yourself warned…
No pansy ass snowflake pussy victims or dicks.
We are all here for the same reason…
To win the war.
Internal conflict will be considered an act of treason and you will be court marshalled, water-boarded, and reprimanded accordingly…
Minus the water-boarding.
But you’ll definitely get lots of dirty looks…
And we’ll probably call your mother (worse than water-boarding).
Understood?
Good… let’s move on shall we.
Down below you’ll see a button…
This button will take you to a booking calendar where you can secure a time for your application interrogation…
Book the earliest time that you can in order to maximize your chance of getting an open spot in one of the groups.
If there are currently no open spots available, we will still conduct your interview, and then your name will be added to the waitlist.
We make it an extreme priority to ensure these wait times are kept to an absolute minimum…
But realistically, it doesn’t do you much good to sit in a Zoom room by yourself.
Which brings us to our final topic of discussion…
Your application interrogation will be conducted over Zoom.
The mastermind sessions are also hosted on Zoom.
So if you’ve never used Zoom before…
It’s time to learn.
Don’t worry, it’s pretty super basic…
Even a squid brain maggot such as yourself should have no problem finding a two minute tutorial on Youtube…
We do assume that you know how to use Google.
So after you chose the time for your application interrogation (more fun to say than interview-don’t you think?) you will be sent an email with details.
This email will also contain a link for your Zoom meeting.
But don’t get your panties in a bunch, as this email may take a few minutes.
***Make sure to check your spam box***
You should also get a reminder email shortly before your scheduled time.
So that’s it squid brain.
Click the button…
Choose your time…
And we can’t wait to interrogate you…